bodyetal | Reading

In tonight's game, ( the rest under a cut for those who don't care. )

And that's where we left off.

Current Mood: sleepy

Mori: welp, our new shrink got ratfucked by Trump, even though we only got him last month, which means we have to go hunting a new one and start the whole training process over again while moving. This means we are eager to clear our plate of other distractions ASAP!

First: Wanna help us move? We will be moving on the last weekend of May--most likely Sunday, June 1 because our other three roomies move on May 31 and we don't want the front door to become a clown car. Are you available? Are you willing to lug boxes and get treated to dinner afterward? We would appreciate you (especially if you have wheels)!

Second: FREE STUFF GIVEAWAY (long as you cover shipping)! We have a couple books free to good homes:

Sweet Abilene, a M/FTM porno comic by the great E.K. Weaver. Sweet Abilene is a spin-off of their webcomic Shot and Chaser, so you can get a good idea of the art and main characters! It's great! We want other people to love it!
Festival of the Bones II: What Is Remembered Lives, an anthology of ancestor worship stories and poems edited by the Writers Egbe of Ile Orunmila Oshun. We fed it through the bookscanner, which means this book can now be liberated! (The PDF will be uploaded once we get it OCRed.)

Finally: FRAMED ART FOR SALE! An original and two print spreads, $50 a pop (plus shipping)! Frames are a pain to move! Snatch it up on the cheap!

this page of MPD for You and Me (original)
two spreads of the queer trans multi wedding in LB Goes To Alaska (prints made to look like the originals in a sketchbook, which include marginalia and green colored pencil underdrawing that are erased from the comic). You can see a photo of one of them here. One spread shows Zyfron and Mystics doing their wedding smooch and first dance; the other shows the wedding dance afterward. These spreads inspired the name of the art show they were framed for, "Love is for all of us." If you need high-res images of the pages in question, just ask!

Okay, back to trawling my health insurance website for potential new shrinks!

Current Mood: rushed

kossai

do have particular complaints about this model - hey , this was first time creation , and make under time crunch of about 3 days in order to show up for next cohost meet - but ... still happy to have , and actually get to show up this way to people .
( though some activities very much build for average heights - kiryu was fallback avatar for those activities - and eventually stop participate ... way too hard to keep up without ability to speak . )

but anyway , never really show here !

screenshot from vrchat - kossai stand in front of fallen log in bright forest

( map : fairy tale by hani )

as for chair situation , er ...

screenshot from vrchat - kossai in beach chair, however kossai is short enough to clip through chair, which now approximate high chair for babies

screenshot from vrchat - kossai in beach chair, however kossai is short enough to clip through chair, which now approximate high chair for babies

( map : jetski islet by liqua )

yeah ... skirt texture do absolutely atrocious things , and every chair become high chair due to height clip . :'D

Current Mood: amused
Current Music: beside a cool stream ~ chanterelle

kossai

just think about kossai 3d model again , which make for vrchat really ... would seriously love to fix up every problem , but would not have any idea how .

one of biggest problems , well ... could not get unity hub to work on linux , so have to pass that part to lover legion , and was not able to make any custom animations or key shapes work . given that kossai play from desktop and not actually in VR , this means default pose is always visible - and in this default pose , arms clip directly into hips . plus , wings do not move at all , and default run animation is so awkward .

for animations , would really love :

if wings could idly flap .
if run animation was instead fly - find avatar with perfect inspiration for this , but unable to do .
to adjust default pose so nothing clip !
if eyes could idly blink - did attempt to set this up , and turn out completely non-functional .

beyond that :

get serious stretch on skirt texture whenever model sit , would be nice if there was some way to make that less awful .
legs clip through skirt fairly often .
overall body hair is sparse and awkward - underestimate how much would be visible , and also did not want to spend forever on body hair texture .
would love to have alternate outfits for gender . but honestly , clothes end up hardest and most frustrate part of this process , and really dread idea of try again .
actually , would be nice for wings to connect more realistically to back if possible - struggle with this in 2d art too . very much butterfly in function .
would also love to be able to use for general 3d model scenes , not just vrchat !

how much would kossai have to spend for someone else to do all this , bwahahahaha . ( way too much for what kossai can actually spend , that is for sure ! )
bwah ... bweh bwah bwuh .

Current Mood: uncomfortable
Current Music: fear no faerie voices ~ eilis phillips

lb_lee

Still working through that big stack of zines from Jimmy Dunson and Rebel Hearts Press, and we're down to the last thing: a paper back anthology of essays entitled Building Power While The Lights Are Out: Disasters, Mutual Aid, and Dual Power. It's really making my brain buzz with ideas! I'm only midway through, but so far my favorites are "Mutual Aid and Anti-Racist Organizing in Rural Appalachia" by Rural Organizing and Resilience, "Love My People: Following in the Footprints of the Panthers" by Suncere Ali Shakur, and "Survival Programs: Then And Now" by Malik Rahim (an old guy in his seventies who was part of the Black Panthers in the '70s). Like the other stuff from Rebel Hearts, it looks to be a paper-only release.

I just want to quote a few paragraphs from Shakur here, because... how could I NOT love this book? He cut his teeth on mutual aid in the wake of Hurricane Katrina, where black men were getting murdered as looters by vigilantes, cops, and others. It was not a safe time and place, and he describes the following events:

( The stories of Mike and No. 1 Gangster Killa )

Current Mood: hopeful

kossai

stigma against realistic digital voices feel like all time high right now , in part due to ideas of generative AI .

... but idea of realistic digital voices predate this technology , and besides that , realistic digital voice is not problem because digital . realistic digital voice is problem when either provider of vocals , or creator of base audio , did not give permission for this usage - and most importantly , realism of this audio can genuinely spread misinformation or replace job opportunities so companies can save money .

none of this is inherent problem to all realistic digital voices . vocal synthesisers , voices for AAC devices , TTS in general before this whole boom - all of these voices come from people who consent , agree to usage , and get payment for work . as well , apart from rare novelties , none of these will be likely to sound like notable people , and still have TTS artifacts to disprove legitimacy or make replacement non-viable .

but more and more recently , see this attitude that every digital voice is bad , every digital voice represent cruelty , dishonesty , and some sort of vaguely morally wrong practises - honestly even frustrate with how people talk about tiktok voices . users of AAC voices often can not control tone of voice or emotional sound , and to be honest , even some voice-speakers can not express these things very well . insults about such things just frustrate and hurt people who legitimately can not control .

literally : some people just can not talk . should not have to beg and plead for fair treatment just because companies do and promote shitty things with vaguely similar technology .

Current Mood: exhausted
Current Music: robyn's tune ~ wolfwalkers ost

settiai

It's a short week at work, so I'm hoping to make the most of it and properly relax at least some this coming long weekend. Of course, I have to make it through the week first.

( Rambling about my plans for the week under the cut. )

Current Mood: hopeful

fabrisse

It is impossible to go into the caves at Lascaux -- and that's been true since 1963 -- but they have created substitutes over the years. Lascaux IV is the most comprehensive, and it's brilliant.

We decided to go at noon because that was when we could go at our own pace. There were two English language tours in the morning (and two in the afternoon) where we would have had to stay with the group. By arriving at lunchtime, we could get headsets.

The very first area in the cave replica, it talked about a bull to my left. I saw horses, which were also mentioned, but no bull. Then I took a step back and realized that the bull was huge. It was so big (probably 2.5' by just under 4') that my eye rejected it for the smaller horses.

The whole thing was beautiful. The layout got a little claustrophobic, especially with the cane, but I was so glad that I got to see it in context.

There was a room which allowed us to interact with parts of the exhibits in isolation, showing us incised sections that we may have missed or details that don't stand out when it's so far above you.

Before we left we had a cheese plate and a crepe, then went back to the car.

Now this whole "Fabi can't find reverse" meant that

neotoma had been helping me out of spots by pushing the car while I had it in neutral and steered. This didn't work once we hit a barred route on our way back -- no suggested detour sign -- and ended up on driveways. We ended up stuck at one house for about half an hour before we made ourselves heard. The gentleman there backed the car up and gave us a better idea of how to get back to where we needed to be (I'd made a reservation at another hotel well in advance including a dinner reservation at the bistro). He also tried to show me what I needed to do to find reverse, but I misunderstood the directions. Also, bless him, he told me I had a very good accent when speaking French. On a wearying afternoon, the compliment meant everything to me.

Two or three towns later, I missed a turn. This time an old man -- probably my age, but we never really see ourselves as old -- called his son who spoke English. They helped us get out of their driveway and back on the correct road, and this time when I was shown how to get the car into reverse, it clicked.

We had a nice evening in a room at the top of a flight of steep stairs, and the dinner at the bistro was nice. There were also some very well behaved dogs at the bistro.

The following morning, after a good buffet breakfast, the woman at the front desk helped us find our way to the autoroute. She wrote down the name of each town we needed where a shift from country road D2 to country road D734 (or whatever the actual route numbers were) would take place. There must have been 8 names. This was where

neotoma and I cheered when we found a country road wide enough that there were lines painted on it. I still wasn't going anywhere near 80 kph.

We found the autoroute -- which was a toll road (we took it and prayed it took credit card) -- and spent most of the rest of the drive doing 130 kph (~80 mph). We made it to Toulouse in time for our train to Narbonne. After that we took the "poor man's TGV" back to Paris. They announced when we were going to our top speed of 320 kph (~199 mph), and the countryside passed by swiftly.

lithophiles

( You're about to view content that the journal owner has advised should be viewed with discretion. )

kossai

crosspost from tumblr @ thaliendir .
lots of weird dreams today . in one dream , get to think about what might happen if sheogorath meet … mad mod . like , teen titans 2003 mad mod .

can not actually decide - and neither could dream , evidently , because hardly remember anything . but whole thing of mad mod is hypnosis and 1960's mod psychedelia - elements which believe to fall under domain of sheogorath as gateways of madness .

mad mod , past this redhead appearance , is actually old man behind layers of screens and technology who cling onto ideas of youth and best days gone by . unlike some other villains in series , mad mod do not hold inherently super abilities , but more " mundane " technological and hypnotic genius .

so what would this hypothetical interaction between sheogorath and mad mod look like ? madness is not inherently act of villainy for sheogorath , regardless of what others perceive - but would sheogorath grant anything in particular to mad mod ? what would mad mod have to do to prove worth ? or would mad mod try to rebel against sheogorath ? would sheogorath find more fun to torment mad mod personally ? hm hmmm .

guess first thing to really figure out is : what would happen if drop 2003 superhero cartoon villain into elder scrolls universe . and that ... not really sure about that yet ! but shit , now really need to know .

Current Mood: amused
Current Music: island of dragons ~ june westfield

fabrisse

( Spoilers under the cut )

settiai

In tonight's game, ( the rest under a cut for those who don't care. )

And that's where we left off.

Current Mood: accomplished

lb_lee

We uploaded Untouchable, a 4-page sketch comic about Rawlin's chronic and infectious health condition, and her self-loathing from it.

Mild content warnings for body horror, contagious chronic illness, and bad feelings from it.

kossai

so truly love videos on historical fashions and crafts ! there is still etsy shop for this company as well - not cheap , but for this amount of work and care , should not be cheap ! maybe some day would be able to justify one of these brooches , hehe .

Current Mood: chipper
Current Music: spiral dance ~ andrey vinogradov

lb_lee posting in

pluralstories

Submitted by

packbat! Thanks,

packbat!

So out we went, and a few minutes later we were at the mall. It wasn’t a large mall by today’s standards, but it was fairly new, and though Cynthia wasn’t impressed with the selection of clothing, I was in hog heaven, since it was all new to me. I don’t know how many pieces of clothing I tried on that day. I was a little tired but still feeling enthusiastic when we stopped for lunch. I would have bought dozens of things, as much as I could possibly afford and maybe more, but Cynthia kept cautioning me not to spend so much of Scott’s money that he wouldn’t want to be me again. So I didn’t buy anything at first, until I’d tried on a bunch of stuff at several stores. Then after lunch I went back and bought my favorites: a flower-pattern peasant skirt, a solid green long-sleeved blouse, and matching shoes with a low heel. The skirt and blouse had no pockets, so I needed a purse as well. I wanted to buy a necklace or earrings too, but reluctantly decided I’d better not push my luck. Scott needed this stuff if he wanted to be me again, and the less money I spent, the more likely he was to want to be me again. Then, after he’d made a habit of it, I could buy the necklace and earrings.

Blurb: In 1970, a young college student is introduced by his roommate to jekyllase. Based on the recently rediscovered formula created and then thought lost by Dr. Henry Jekyll a century earlier, it's all the rage on campuses now: it will show you your inner, repressed self. What will that look like for Scott and his friends?

Why is it worth your time?: It's a cool story in a classic kind of speculative fiction style, and explores a lot of aspects of its specific fictional form of plurality through it - notably relationships within jekyll-hyde pairs, how the introduction of hydes changes jekylls' relationships with others, and the power dynamics and logistics of the drug-induced switching.

Plural/1+ Tags: enmity, friendship, teamwork, setting-specific, on purpose.

Content Warnings: alcohol, tobacco, and other drug use; homophobia; transphobia; attempted sexual assault; period language we wouldn't use today. Also, it's possible for a jekyll (jekyllase user) to use jekyllase to the point where the hyde (the alternate identity created by the drug) becomes their body's base form instead of transformed form and jekyllase would be needed to revive the original; the idea of doing this deliberately is discussed.

Accessibility Notes: online, screenreadable, free. The author has posted it to multiple archives, but the Scribblehub edition is our recommendation.

Misc. Notes (if any): The way it explores gender is probably not a clear match to plural gender issues, but it's definitely interesting. Also, while the story takes place in the 1970s, the framing device is that this account was published later (presumably around the mid 2010s when it was written), so things like the period-appropriate theories of gender and transness that the protagonists look up are given commentary from a more modern perspective.

lb_lee posting in

pluralstories

Submitted by

packbat. Thank you,

packbat!

There wasn’t much to do now, so Syrus jumped off the bed to do some simple exercises.

Syrus asked, [So what are we supposed to do besides that plan?]

[The best we can do is not cause any trouble and have the ceremony pass without any issues.] (Luna)

[Fair enough.] Replied Syrus, in the middle of her first push-up. At the peak of the second, she asked, [Want me to accidentally burn the priest?]

[...] (Luna)

[Hello, Earth to the Moon?]

Lilly sighed, [She needs to say no, but wants to say yes…]

“Hehe, I know.” Laughed Syrus.

Blurb: It began with an accident, or maybe a miracle is a better term.
Three souls dying by different strokes. One died in glory and blood; One died, betrayed but glad it was over; One died poor and alone.

Then on the child’s fifth birthday, the three sleeping souls awakened. Three souls, one body, two desires, and containing all the powers each had in their last life.

Were they destined for greatness? No. But when the past comes to haunt them, their home taken away, they have to make a decision… May it be as simple as a majority vote.

“Let’s squash them!”

“...can we just run away?

“Were you never taught to aim for the eyes?”

Why is it worth your time?: Okay, so you know the fantasy stories where someone gets reincarnated and ends up powerful because they still have the knowledge and abilities from their past life? It's one of those, except three people get reincarnated in the same body and they have the power of all three working together. It's not, like, a deep exploration of plurality, just a cool body-sharing fantasy adventure story.

And also the protagonists' new parents figure out that their kid is a plural system and are super supportive and loving. Which is really sweet and heartwarming.

Plural/1+ Tags: closeting, cofronting, otherworld, the dead, teamwork, spiritual, setting-specific.

Content Warnings: violence, injury, poisoning, and death; murder, kidnapping, arson, child endangerment, and animal death; grief and trauma.

Accessibility Notes: online, screenreadable, free. Scribblehub link.

Misc. Notes (if any): The way dialogue is formatted for completed sentences, with both periods inside the quote and commas outside, is unusual, if pretty clear and comprehensible. The first part of the story goes up to Chapter 63, but it's ongoing and it sounds like there's a lot of plot still to go. (Cataloger note: Holy crap there are well over a hundred chapters, I don't think I want to manually back all that up.)

kossai

some time ago , make attempts to write another sheogorath story , during episode that was hard to deal with . never actually finish , though , and outside of episode would feel wrong to add anything - some of these feelings very hard to get in touch with and understand otherwise .

still , really did like this section , so get some help to clean up and at least make readable .
warnings : identity mess , vaguely description of psychotic episode

( Read more... )

back to thaliendir / sheogorath masterpost

Current Mood: melancholy
Current Music: journey ~ mitsukiyo

lb_lee posting in

pluralstories

"The ancestral visions persisted. One day I was flooded with grief and felt as if I was slipping from life. Frightened, I began calling out to my grandmother Lela--she was the one person who I believed could help me. The air filled with an electrical energy and a feeling of peace washed over me. My breathing calmed and I felt my grandmother's presence. My grandmother who had been deceased for eighteen years had rescued me.

"Yet, I still did not trust that my Ancestors really supported me. I believed that I had experienced a psychotic episode and feared that I would end up as one of the 'crazy' ones..."

Blurb: a group of writers "share short stories, poems, prayers, and personal accounts of Ancestor reverence--intimate glimpses of our experiences with the Ancestors, those descended from our bloodlines and some not related to us by blood, but whose lives continue to inspire us."

Why is it worth your time?: It covers a bunch of different writers of different backgrounds (though with a focus towards the Yoruba tradition of Ifá/Orisha), all interacting with their ancestors in different ways, through dreams, channeling, divination, and more! A very personal and interesting collection on the whole, but nonfictional stand-outs include "Erasing the Lines" by M'kali-Hashiki (about losing the ability to contact spirits, and struggling to regain it), "Responding to the Call of the Ancestors: Transforming Vinegar into Honey" by J. Phoenix Smith (about dealing with intense family trauma via ancestor veneration), and "License to Forgive," by Iyalorisa Ayokunle (about having to banish an ancestor from her altar). Also includes a 1990s short story by Nisi Shawl about the nuances ancestor worship when combined with the American legacy of slavery.

Plural Tags: abuse intermediate-focus (depends on the chapter), creator speaks from experience, the dead, family relationships, spiritual, voices, visions

Content Warnings: discussion of slavery's legacy, family trauma, complicated family relationships, fear of madness

Access Notes: This book looks to be out of print and a paper-only release. Though still obtainable, it's not easy to get, so I'm probably going to be feeding my copy through the library book-scanner for accessibility purposes. (This means, regrettably, that the obnoxious handwritten footnotes of the previous owner will be included.) Stay tuned!

Misc Notes: Full Table of Contents (with most spirited-relevant entries in bold, but the whole thing is worth a read):

"Introduction" by Luisah Teish and Sauda Burch
"Reaching Back To Reclaim Genius" by Awo Fanira
"The Breaking" by Xochipala Maes Valdez
"Remembrance: Mary 'Pula' Lucero" by Xochipala Maes Valdez
"Sparkle and Sheen" by Sauda Burch
"Erasing the Line" by M'kali-Hashiki
"Mourner's Kaddish" by D'vorah J. Grenn
"Remembrance: Douglas Johnson, Sr." by Jessical Johnson
"The Old Folks Say" by Luisa Teish
"Remembrance: Ralph P. Orduna" by Sauda Burch
"Turning to Face the Ancestors: A learning journey recovering heart and memory" by Gail Williams
"Remembrance: Samuel Williams, Jr." by Gail Williams
"The Cosmic Eye" by Uzuri Amini
"Remembrance: Aunt Emmalou" by Arnia Dobbins
"Let the Dead Bury the Dead" by Sauda Burch
"Remembrance: Family" by Gilbert Burch, Sr.
"Remembrance: Donald L. Williams" by Gail Williams
"Remembrance: Louise Merrill" by Amanda Bloom
"My African Odyssey 20 Years Later: the Ancestors of Goree Island" by Uzuri Amini
"Remembrance: Great-Aunt Nancy Collier" by Sauda Burch
"Remembrance: Sarangerel Odigan (1963-2006)" by Daniel Foor
"Ancestral Legacy: Excerpts from an interview with Andrea (Courage) Johnson" by Sauda Burch
"Remembrance: Marsha King", by Andrea Johnson
"Full Circle" by Iyanifa Fasina
"Remembrance: Rose Maes" by Conrad Maes
"Responding to the Call of the Ancestors: Transforming Vinegar into Honey" by J. Phoenix Smith
"Remembrance: My Brother Charles" by Rashidah Tutashinda
"Acnestral Spirits" by Uzuri Amini
"License to Forgive" by Iyalora Ayokunle
"Remembrance: Durinda 'Winta' Anderson" by Karinda Dobbins
"Remembrance: Great-Grandpa Pablo Valdez," by Xochipala Maes Valdez
"The Rainses'" by Nisi Shawl
"Remembrance: Grandpa Pete" by Rebecca Rodriguez
"Preservation" by Luisah Teish

lithophiles

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kossai

sometimes wish touch screens could be just slightly less responsive . or be able to read mind in exactly one way and nothing else .
just so annoy when fingers twitch or whatever in way that brush screen , and screen immediately jump into action . like shit , did not want to close that , now need to find again . or oh , did not want to log out , but that button is big and easy to get on accident , especially if aim for something else in that area . ( that one happen here on dreamwidth ! )
more confirmation popups would be nice , especially with log outs . true everywhere , not just here .

Current Mood: irritated

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Page Summary

settiai - Aurendor D&D: Summary for 5/21 Game
lb_lee - LB is Moving! Take Our Stuff
kossai - vrchat ~ kossai model
kossai - kossai 3d model
lb_lee - Building Power While The Lights Are Out: Disasters, Mutual Aid, and Dual Power
kossai - digital voice stigma
settiai - This Week's Plans
fabrisse - France: Lascaux IV
lithophiles - Re: last entry.
kossai - dream journal ~ great idea or bad idea ?
fabrisse - Doctor Who: The Interplanetary Song Contest
settiai - Titansfall D&D: Summary for 5/18 Game
lb_lee - Untouchable is on healthymultiplicity.com!
kossai - video showcase of m&s schmalberg silk flowers by bernadette banner
lb_lee in pluralstories - Listening to Jekyllase by Trismegistus Shandy (sci-fi slice-of-life short novel, 2019, 2023-2024)
lb_lee in pluralstories - Triiffic-Soul: Can I Be In Control? by Bobple (fantasy serial fiction, 2023-)
kossai - 13th era sheogorath ~ no name snippet
lb_lee in pluralstories - Festival of the Bones II: What Is Remembered Lives, by Ile Orunmila Oshun (prose, 2010)
lithophiles - (no subject)
kossai - woe

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