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To Eat & to Cook Is to Be Human
Riley has been having a rough time of things the past couple days, mostly regarding not being treated—and not living—like a person, including treatment by people who in theory respected their person. And I’ve been having trouble with our eating disorder—not in a “I’m opposed to eating” sense (I absolutely am not!), but in forgetting that I need to. It is very easy for me to skip meals without noticing, especially on weeks like this where my schedule is wonky.
Anyway, last night, Riley had the realization that pog couldn’t remember their last proper meal. The body was fed, but pog couldn’t remember eating anything but candy or cake while fronting for months, if not over a year. Pog was already feeling terrible about not being treated like a real person*, so pog decided they were going to eat proper food: leftover Kraft macaroni.
(*post intentionally access-locked)
And it was great. It hadn’t occurred to that until just that moment how humanizing it was to eat food—and how dehumanizing it was not to. None of us have much of a desire to eat for the sake of eating, just to eat for body fuel or to have our very favorite foods, and Riley’s favorite foods are mostly… well, not food. (Airheads and Monster Energy do not count, have never counted, and will never count.)
One of the only evolutionary traits truly unique to humans is that we cook food. Cooking food has a profound social, cultural, and evolutionary impact on humans. To cook is to be human, and even if that cooking is microwaving mac ‘n’ cheese, it makes us feel like a person.
I’ve found myself cooking for the sake of my own selfhood, too. The first time I actually cooked a meal (like, with ingredients), I was so emotional for a reason I couldn’t quite place. Part of it was what it meant for my eating disorder recovery, my independence, my disability. But now I’m sure part of it was that it was such a fundamentally human act, and one I’d been deprived of all my life.
Riley’s planning to find a kind of meal that pog both likes and can easily cook. We’re too disabled for super involved cooking—fifteen minutes of standing is our hard limit—but Riley isn’t exactly someone with a highly refined palette. Pog doesn’t want a Michelin Star, pog wants humanity.
Anyway, last night, Riley had the realization that pog couldn’t remember their last proper meal. The body was fed, but pog couldn’t remember eating anything but candy or cake while fronting for months, if not over a year. Pog was already feeling terrible about not being treated like a real person*, so pog decided they were going to eat proper food: leftover Kraft macaroni.
(*post intentionally access-locked)
And it was great. It hadn’t occurred to that until just that moment how humanizing it was to eat food—and how dehumanizing it was not to. None of us have much of a desire to eat for the sake of eating, just to eat for body fuel or to have our very favorite foods, and Riley’s favorite foods are mostly… well, not food. (Airheads and Monster Energy do not count, have never counted, and will never count.)
One of the only evolutionary traits truly unique to humans is that we cook food. Cooking food has a profound social, cultural, and evolutionary impact on humans. To cook is to be human, and even if that cooking is microwaving mac ‘n’ cheese, it makes us feel like a person.
I’ve found myself cooking for the sake of my own selfhood, too. The first time I actually cooked a meal (like, with ingredients), I was so emotional for a reason I couldn’t quite place. Part of it was what it meant for my eating disorder recovery, my independence, my disability. But now I’m sure part of it was that it was such a fundamentally human act, and one I’d been deprived of all my life.
Riley’s planning to find a kind of meal that pog both likes and can easily cook. We’re too disabled for super involved cooking—fifteen minutes of standing is our hard limit—but Riley isn’t exactly someone with a highly refined palette. Pog doesn’t want a Michelin Star, pog wants humanity.
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(But like, yes, I know not everyone that cooks is a human, I am the case in point.)
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Are there any dietary restrictions and stuff you hate/like? Mac specializes in easy delicious one-pot dishes that fulfill our meal plan and might be able to rec some stuff!
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Food is really such a gamechanger
Cooking does matter, it matters to eat something that's substantial, and it matters to make it with your own hands. Even if most of the work was done already, it matters that you cook it. It's transformative, it's nourishing, and it's why I love doing it so much, because I love the entire process from grocery shopping to prep to the cooking itself.
I don't know if you've heard of the Sad Bastards Cook Book - it's a cook book specifically for disabled/mentally ill/low spoons-friendly recipes. I don't know how well those recipes adapt to things like 15 min standing limits, but a lot of the recipes are deliberately low effort with gradations for lower & higher energy variants. I believe it's available for free somewhere, but I do also have a pdf copy I can send you - if nothing else, it's also a fun and charming read because it's written with such humor and character.
Good luck to Riley and pogs quest to master a meal. It's a helluva boost to really truly add something to your repertoire and be able to make it reliably. It becomes Yours in a really good way.
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We don't cook for ourself often anymore, but when we did, a folding barstool in the kitchen was a real game changer. It was the right height for us to sit down at the stove and sink. I hope you find recipes you like! --Paul