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Making Eye Contact With Depression
Depression can be extremely sneaky, especially when you’ve had at least one depressive disorder your entire life. It has a way of creeping up on you, of convincing you that actually the world has always been grey and you’ve always been tired and everything’s always been this irritating.
And sometimes it just completely fumbles and knocks over half a dozen pots and pans while it’s sneaking through your kitchen and you’re kind of upset to see it there but mostly you’re just second-hand embarrassed.
Anyway, right now, it’s the latter. I see you, buddy, you’re not as slick as you hoped. Sorry.
In depression’s defense, it’s kind of hard to hide when the body’s depressed but not a single headmate is, so people just become depressed upon switching in and feel fine as soon as they switch out. Not exactly subtle.
So I’m going to do art, make myself food, and sit near windows until this passes—which it will. The main downside is people get frontstuck easily when we’re depressed, but I can survive that just fine.
Maybe I’ll paint a landscape or a portrait instead of just thinking about it.
- Crow&
And sometimes it just completely fumbles and knocks over half a dozen pots and pans while it’s sneaking through your kitchen and you’re kind of upset to see it there but mostly you’re just second-hand embarrassed.
Anyway, right now, it’s the latter. I see you, buddy, you’re not as slick as you hoped. Sorry.
In depression’s defense, it’s kind of hard to hide when the body’s depressed but not a single headmate is, so people just become depressed upon switching in and feel fine as soon as they switch out. Not exactly subtle.
So I’m going to do art, make myself food, and sit near windows until this passes—which it will. The main downside is people get frontstuck easily when we’re depressed, but I can survive that just fine.
Maybe I’ll paint a landscape or a portrait instead of just thinking about it.
- Crow&
no subject
Feeling this lately. Winter is always the least subtle for me. I saw a Tumblr post that described seasonal depression (which adds to my regular depression) as "mental scurvy that will go away when the big lemon in the sky comes back." --Bash